The $700 Billion Bailout Plan

What are the $700 billion dollars for this bailout plan actually going to be spent on?  Since I have yet to find a reliable news source, or statements of any kind outlining this so-called plan, I have decided that The Onion probably has as good a guess as anyone, if not better- since no one has actually offered up a plan in the first place...

So check it out.  Because I had a sneaking suspicion this plan would be sorely misguided and without any direction whatsoever.

But, let's remember - this is all just part of the real Plan - to crash the dollar, introduce the Amero, and the North American Union, because we are just too sloppy to govern ourselves, and then microchips, credit rationing, Habitat Areas and the like can have their way with us.  Oh and I guess you won't be getting any meat on that pizza.